Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Ramblings :: Days gone by

This photo really has nothing to do with today's post, I just thought it was something cute. A makeup artist I worked with back in Colorado shared it on Facebook recently and I was tickled with it!

I suppose in a way it relates, in the "Keep Calm" sense. All through the night I remained restless, my eyes never waning, as I thought of my kids, the months gone by, the growth they've made. Time seems to be getting away from me. I laid there in the dead quiet thinking about how summer is almost over. I'm almost 30 years old, what have I accomplished? I've raised three pretty awesome kids, which is a task in and of itself, but I feel like there's something more I want/need to do, but haven't yet done it. Although I don't know what. 

I've been talking to Snookums lately about possibly going back to school. I miss writing, I miss it dearly. I regret never having furthered my education. I have no real skills, other than being a homemaker. Of course, Logan would tell you I have more skills than most people combined. If I can do it, I will.

But as I get older, I feel as though I'm losing more and more days. Fewer days to do the things I desire, the things I dream of. I think back on the days when I was younger, when my only real responsibility was passing US History, and I took better care of myself. Every morning I went out of my way to apply my makeup, fix my hair, pick out a nice outfit. Flip flops are a staple now and I can recall one time last week that I blow dried my hair. 

Life seems too busy, but there's only me to do it all. I'm learning life as a single mother. I have always felt a shred of compassion for single moms, but now I'm walking a mile in their shoes, and boy, is it tough!

I reflect often on my relationship with God as well. I am no longer in a place where I am angry with Him. For the most part I feel happy with my relationship with the Lord. But I don't feel I'm putting all I need to in it. Daily devotion is not a part of it, and I know it's necessary. This blog post alone has taken me the course of an entire day to write (one reason I don't blog everyday). But I once heard if you're too busy to read your bible, you're busier than God ever intended you to be. 

Here's hoping I learn how to slow down and balance life, faith, kids and myself.

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