Weekend Happenings: Linville Falls, NC

THIS! 

This right here is why I have come to love living in NC the past year. Logan had some family come in from out of town, and they asked to see some waterfalls. I had not been to Linville Falls yet, so we all loaded up in my tank of a vehicle, and headed out of town Saturday to hike some mountains. Views like this are a dime a dozen here, and never cease to take my breath away! 

The humor in this sign made me laugh. I love that someone out there appreciates good sarcasm as much as me. {Look closely} 

Lana is fearless. It was all I could to keep her off the ledges, and not heading the advice of the sign above. I truly had no desire to watch my child fall. Thankfully, Livvy is a little more pragmatic where heights are concerened, so she had her big sissy hold onto her.

As I said, fearless! All she wanted was to stand on the ledges and shout from the rooftops. So Logan held her tight and let her do just that!

Yep, these are my dorks. Two peas in a pod. 

I really want to go back and edit this photo. It's a perfect capture of him.

Is it silly to say the dirt here is gorgeous? There is so much mica in the ground, all the dirt shimmers like gold dust. I wish I had captured it better. But we did collect all kinds of pretty rocks and stones. 

He's such a dweeb, but I'll keep him! He does make me laugh!

We didn't make it down to the gorge. I think that's a trip that'll have to be reserved for a day when we don't have three small children in tow. I can't wait to go fishing down there.

XO, Steph

2013 In Review

I sort of vanished for the latter part of 2013. My last post was on November 16, when I shared the Gatsby printable I created. I'm glad for those of you who enjoyed and for all the shares it has received on Pinterest. 

The year 2013 was a hard year. It began with me abandoning all control, putting all of my faith in God, and moving to Boone. I had never set foot on Boone soil. I hadn't been to NC since I last lived here when I was six years old. But God brought me here, and boy do I love it! God is great that way. The day I left I cried on my mothers shoulder, terrified to leave. Who would of thought I would find such an amazing, gracious and loving home here.

But that was hardly difficult. Between October and November I lost three members of my family. Two were somewhat expected, so while disheartening, easy to cope with. It was the last one, my Aunt Shari. She died Thanksgiving morning. She died in her sleep. She was but 50 years old.

I was walking out the door the morning of Thanksgiving. My purse was in hand, the kids were headed downstairs to the car, when my phone rang. I realized it was coming from my bedroom and that I did not have it on hand. I went to get it real fast, saw that it was my dad calling. For a fraction of a second I thought, Oh, I'll call him back later. We were just walking out, headed to spend the holiday with family and friends. We had hours of driving to do. But then I decided to answer since it was Thanksgiving. My parents had relocated back to Phoenix, so the least I could was wish my family a Happy Thanksgiving.

In that same moment it occurred to me that it was 9 AM my time, 6 AM theirs. How odd they would be calling me so early.

"Hello," I answered.
"Hey, Sis," came my dad's voice. "I've got bad news."
"What? Is everything okay?"

"Shari died."

My reply was bleak. I plopped down onto my bed and stuttered over my words. What words I could get out, that is. I hung up the phone and wept. I wept all the way to Morganton, then on the drive to Rockingham, then while I was there at my best friends house. 

I haven't quite gotten passed it yet. Each time I think of it, my mind doesn't seem to want to comprehend it. She was only fifty! Far too young to die! But just like that, my mothers baby sister was gone. 

My aunt didn't have children of her own, but spoiled us tremendously. I always had a very close relationship to her. She bought me my first pair of dangly earrings and took me to my first R-rated movie. She once took me to see the Beauty and the Beast ballet at the theater, and even brought a pair of theater binoculars. Between that and the dress my mother bought me, I remember feeling so fancy that day.

Each time I think of these things, I just feel ... sad. Is there another word for it? Something not quite so morose, but equal in feeling? 

That is why I have not been around much. I haven't quite gotten over the sadness. And beginning a new year doesn't make it easier to do so. I feel this need to begin a new year, leave the old in the past, and embrace the present. There's a whole future in front of me. But how do you just let someone go so cavalier-like? I don't think you do. 

So, no, I don't believe I will be embracing 2014, but rather plugging on through another day. I know that time heals and just because it is a new year, that doesn't mean it's time yet.

On a more delightful note: I did get to spend a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend with my best friend of nearly 20 years. We had a marvelous time together! We even stole a moment to take some family portraits. So enjoy these final mementos for this post. Till next time ...

Hinson Lake, Rockingham, NC

If you're interested in how I edited any of these, please let me know in the comments. All the actions I used are freebies, and I would love to share the techniques I'm learning in Photoshop.

Happy New Year to all,

Steph

A Birthday Letter

Dear Liam,

Today you're seven years old. My mind still has a difficult time coming to grips with this fact. How do I have a seven-year-old? How can it be that seven years has passed already? 

I want you to know I pray many things for you each and every day. I pray that you will grow into a righteous man, one whose greatest desire is to serve Christ. I pray that as you grow, you learn to have a meek and humble spirit. I pray you overcome your shortcomings and do not let fear consume you, but rather allow yourself to be washed in God's loving grace all the days of your life. I pray you always hold onto to that silliness you surprise me with, for it is what keeps your mind grounded.

Did you know you're exceptionally intelligent? At just five years old you were asking me what gravity was, how it worked, and why God created it. Not since you were six months old has your brain stopped turning, always eager to learn something new. I pray that God has a plan to keep your mind occupied, to use it to its fullest potential, and to share His great works. Intelligence is fruitless if it lacks the knowledge of the Lord.

I also pray the Lord has a great woman for you someday, a helpmeet steadfast in His ways. I pray you love her as God commands you to. 

For now, I will continue to raise you in His ways, for He commands me, your mother, this: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) Take heart, this seventh birthday, in knowing that I will train you up in the way of Lord. This is the greatest gift I will ever be able to give you.

All my love,

Your mother

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Overcoming Divorce

How do you get over divorce?

I don't believe you really "get over" divorce. Like everything in life, time heals and you begin to move on. You learn how to build yourself anew. That has been the past year of my life: building it new -- but only with God's love and grace.

It was one year ago when I saw my father for the first time in a good number of years. Life had been unkind and taken its toll on my body. I was newly separated, depressed, and severely underweight. I couldn't stop getting sick, and I was growing weary of it, physically, mentally and emotionally. I was caring for three children on my own, all who didn't understand. They acted out, I banished myself to another room to release tears that were impossible to hold back. I smoked a pack a day to check out, kill time. Self-destruction held no regard. I later learned that after my brief visit with my dad, he called my mother and wept on the phone to her. The sight of how frail and sunken I was broke his heart.

People often made remarks about a what a strong person I was, saying I was a better woman than they, and so forth, although I didn't feel it most times. People asked how I did it, and always my answer was the same: 

By the grace of God. 

The fact was, I could not do it on my own. On my own, I crumbled. I grew bitter. Resentful. Hateful and angry. My sole desire was to curl into a ball and pray life would stop existing. But God was so kind to me. He took pity on me. He allowed my world to crumble beneath my feet so that I may be brought to my knees and be humbled.

It has been a heart-wrenching year. It has been a happy year. It has been a year full of trials and tribulations. It has been a year in which I learned how wicked and deceitful my own heart could be. It has been a year in which I realized how meek and humble it ought to be. 

I have learned to love and forgive. I have learned to stand on my own two feet. I have learned to praise God for all that I hold dear. For His grace is sufficient!

One year ago August 29, I loaded what I could of my belongings into a 5x8 trailer, hitched to the back of my SUV, and departed Colorado. In the pitch black of early morning, I watched my home vanish from sight through the rear view mirror. Let me tell you, this is why I say you never really "get over" divorce. I had a month to pack and cope and come to terms with everything. But with each passing mile, I got angrier and angrier. I grew more terrified. How was I going to make it on my own? How was I going to provide for three children by myself? Could I survive? I doubted whether or not God's grace was sufficient. I held onto this doubt for many months, and, once again, in December of last year, God let it all blow up in my face, brought me to my knees, yet again, and showed me, Yes, His Grace is Sufficient!

I cannot say exactly what brought me to North Carolina, other than faith. Faith that I was not strong enough to do everything on my own. Faith that God would carry the burden for me. Faith that I was hearing God right when He told me to pack up my children (a second time in so many months) and move them somewhere we've never been. But here we are, nestled deep in the mountains, and we're loving it! God knew this was where we needed to be. He knew this place would bring us peace and joy. He knew I would be able to provide for my kids. And He knew the people who already lived here, whose lives I would come to affect. It's amazing how God knows all our lives, all our circumstances, and can bring us together to change each others lives for the good.

It is with a tearful smile I can say I've gained over 15 pounds back, I rarely get sick, I stopped smoking, for their is no need for me to check out anymore, and I am happy. I can also proudly say that recently I updated my Facebook profile photo and received a delighted call from my dad how good I was looking these days.

So for those who may wonder "How Do You Get Over Divorce?" My answer is, you don't. You get through it. One day at a time, with each breath, clinging to the grace of God for dear life.

All my love today!

Steph

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God made the sun

What a beautiful start to my morning! 

Coming back from the bus stop, my youngest daughter Olivia stopped and pointed to the hill behind our home and said, "Mom, look, God's making the sun!"

I cannot tell you how this warmed my heart, to hear her delight in God's creation. It developed into a conversation of why God made the sun and the moon, one to rule the day and one to rule the night, separating light from darkness. God touched my heart more as I turned to these verses in my bible, reminding me that at the end, He "saw that it was good."

You may also be interested to know that my mother-in-law has a blog where she has been doing a bible study on the Eternal message in the stars. Her notes are beautiful!

What are you delighting in today?

Much delight from me to you!

Steph

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Weekend in photos :: Lake Norman

For Logan's birthday this weekend, we took the kids out to Lake Norman. It was a long weekend, but a fun weekend. It was actually the first time I've traveled out of town with my kids in any kind of leisurely manner. It was well worth it. They had so much fun!

Some of Logan's family came with us, and Livvy trekked off on a hike with the others. We took the Liam and Lana fishing, which disappointed them. We didn't catch anything. They determined the fish were boring fish whom they didn't want to eat anyway. Who wants to eat boring fish, right? Lana explored, searching for dragon flies and pretty rocks, while Liam and Logan got some good one-on-one time.

Now it's Monday and back to the grind. Why oh why can't laundry wash itself?

Steph

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