The Best Way to Love Your Body

For some time I have been suffering health issues. Minor things, but things I knew were not the norm for me and I thought could use some attention, so I sought medical treatment. I left the doctor feeling more discouraged than I did when I walked in the door. Have you ever faced the struggle of having to justify yourself to someone? Not just once, but over and over, until all you begin to feel is sheer exhaustion? That is how I felt when I left.  Most of my life I have been criticized for my size. I am an exceptionally small person and doctors grill me on this. The ironic fact is, I never suffer from body image until others point out the negative things about my body. I don't, on a general basis, look at myself in the mirror and feel disgusted by what I see. Do I like being my size? Not really. Pants are a joke to shop for! I get tired of having to convince doctors there's nothing wrong with me, it's hereditary — here wanna see a picture of my parents and my brothers? I dwelled on this for some time. I prayed, asking the Lord to allow me to not be offended, but to take my doctors advice with a grain of salt. I was challenged a couple days ago when a woman in the drug store made a snide remark about my size, but then quickly backtracked and apologized. Never have I had anyone apologize. More prayer.  And then God showed me the verse above, reminding me that my body is not my own, it has been bought with a price, and that it is not for me to worry about who my body impresses as long as it glorify's the Lord. I need not worry about measuring up to any statistics or standards, because they are nothing more than an average for the population. My God is not average and does create "average" things. He does not create people to be average, either, as we are created in His image, the ultimate Holy of Holies! In that, my body was made perfect. It is simply my duty to maintain the health and integrity of it during my temporary stay in this little shell. So that, sweet friends, is my Fitness Plan: To Love my Body As Unto the Lord. There is no greater way!
XO, Steph

Oh, Martha, Let's talk

For those who haven't heard, Martha Stewart recently said in an interview on Bloomberg that bloggers are not experts. Sure, it's taboo to argue with Martha, nor is it "appropriate" to be argumentative or political on a blog, but today we're going to be real. For the past couple days I have been tweeting back and forth with some sweet folks on Twitter on the topic, and we reached a great point: that place where the line is drawn.

To an extent Martha is correct. But only to a small extent. Bloggers ought to blog with ethics. If you have not thoroughly studied chemical compounds and the like, it is not wise to share hair treatment advice. There are a lot of PH levels and other chemicals you must understand. I do not, so, no, I will not tell you how to best dye your hair and what conditioning treatment will work best for you. Everyone's hair is also different, so that will always play a big factor. I have consulted my stylist about hair advice, and she has animatedly insisted I not share it on my blog and ask me not to quote her. Why? Because if it doesn't work for your hair, it comes back to her and to me.

There are many other topics we could go through, but I think beauty bloggers tend to me my own biggest pet peeve, because this is your physical body we are talking about, applying ingredients and chemicals to your skin and hair, all directed by inexperienced bloggers. 

So, yes, Martha, there you have a point.

But I do not think it's fair to lump all bloggers into one single You're-Not-An-Expert category. I have readily admitted I am not an expert, but I shared my Mustard Greens Recipe anyway, because it was loved by many. Not just myself, but the southern community I have taken to. I did not "copy" anyone's. I stood in front of my fridge and thought, what do I have on hand that I can throw in here? I am sure there are many other recipes like it, as it is not an overly-complicated recipe. But it is mine. I am also learning Photoshop, and as someone who is self-taught, I have tried sharing little things I learn along the way for others who want to learn.

Martha, you quote in your interview, "They're not trained editors at Vogue Magazine. They're copies of what really good editors have created and done."

Okay, I'm going to jump on that right now, because I know for a fact that editors COPY WHAT BLOGGERS HAVE DONE. In case you don't follow Epbot, late last year Redbook Magazine took her Flip Flop Hanger tutorial, traced her pictures with colored pencil, then published the idea as their own in their January issue with no credit to Epbot whatsoever. When the editor of Redbook was alerted to this she immediately corrected the mistake, even quoting "Creative women like you are key contributors to our magazine." What sweet recognition!

Which brings me to my final point, Martha. How many bloggers have you had as guests on your show and your website? How many times have you stood there, beaming over their creations and recipes and know-how, and all the while you've been thinking, "You don't know what you're talking about, you're not an 'expert'?" This begs the question, why do you have them on your show then? Because your producer said so? Do you not truly support them and value their work? Are you not self-taught as well? Did you not leap into your own business adventures based on what you knew you had a knack for? You did not study culinary arts or interior design or any form of writing, yet you developed skills on your own, which you now share with the world. How does this make you any different than us bloggers? 

I must say, that was a little saddening to hear your lack of support for the creative community. After-all, we enjoy your products. We beam with sincerity at your creativity. I oohed and ahhed over your costume on the latest issue of Martha Stewart Living. You truly did give beauty to Halloween! We envy what you have done for yourself. And until that statement, you gave a small bit of hope to other creative individuals on the possibilities their creative genius could have.

I know you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions, and I would not dream of denying you them. I am sorry if you think us bloggers create a "popularity" of some kind. My personal opinion is that the statement sounded like one of inferiority. Please let me assure you, I personally do not mean to encroach on your empire in any way, or desire to create a "popularity" that would take away from your creative domain. My sole goal on my amateuristic blog is to encourage others to be the best version of themselves they can be. To give hope to other single mothers barely making it along that there is possibility. To ensure they know it only takes a little ingenuity and creativity. I want to uplift others and be sure they know they can be a self-made woman and be proud of that!

Sincerely,

Disappointed

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